The SEC In a Sentence: More Like Swaggerbilt, Right?
Photo by Matthew Maxey/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images Welcome to the SEC in a Sentence, a look back at the Saturday that was in college football’s greatest conference. In this sporadic series I try to sum up the current status of every SEC football program in but one sentence. Sometimes that sentence is serious. Sometimes it’s snarky. It almost always would get you a D on your English 101 essay. Let’s dive in. Alabama: the troubling thing for Alabama fans is not losing on the road at Vanderbilt, it is losing the time of possession battle 42 minutes/18 minutes and giving up 166 yards rushing to the Commodores. Arkansas: After that overtime loss to Oklahoma State this team has a very pronounced. “You can’t kill us, we are already dead” vibe. Auburn: At no point on Saturday did Auburn really make Georgia uncomfortable, which is not something you can say about everyone who’s spent time in a room with Hugh Freeze. Florida: The fact that Florida fans saw an 11 point win over UCF as a sign of improvement rather than an embarrassment tells you all you need to know to understand why I am a huge fan of Billy Napier at Florida. Georgia: On the one hand if I wanted a rich guy to tell me what I’m supposed to be excited about I’d just go on Twitter, but on the other….maybe I really should be more excited about beating Auburn???? Kentucky: “Kentucky had a bye after knocking off a top five Ole Miss squad, and now must face a surging Vanderbilt fresh off its win against Alabama” is by far the weirdest single sentence in the history of this sporadic series. Mississippi State: There will come a time when Jeff Lebby has this Mississippi State team heading in the right direction but that time ain’t now. LSU: The Tigers, undefeated in the SEC, face Ole Miss this week in a matchup of teams where someone is absolutely getting exposed. Missouri: Speaking of getting exposed, there’s the Missouri we know and love! Oklahoma: The Sooners have won five out of six against Texas in Red River, which makes no actual sense and thus perfectly encapsulates why they both belong in the SEC. Ole Miss: If Lane Kiffin can’t beat LSU in Baton Rouge with this roster I don’t know when he will, and neither will Rebel boosters. South Carolina: The good news for Shane Beamer is that no one was watching the Gamecocks get handled 27-3 at home by Ole Miss because, well, . Texas A&M: Mike Elko is going to turn Texas A&M into a top 15 program in year one just by getting them to stop punching themselves repeatedly in the face, and I can respect that. Tennessee: Nico said to himself, “Iamaleave Fayetteville with an L.” Texas: We’re probably going to have to listen to them complain about having to carry yet another conference on their backs for at least 12 more days, and that’s the only downside of Alabama losing. Vanderbilt: I hope Clark Lea called all the recruits while riding the goal posts down Broadway in Nashville, and I hope they didn’t let it go to voicemail this time. Until later… Go ‘Dawgs!!!
Welcome to the SEC in a Sentence, a look back at the Saturday that was in college football’s greatest conference. In this sporadic series I try to sum up the current status of every SEC football program in but one sentence. Sometimes that sentence is serious. Sometimes it’s snarky. It almost always would get you a D on your English 101 essay. Let’s dive in.
Alabama: the troubling thing for Alabama fans is not losing on the road at Vanderbilt, it is losing the time of possession battle 42 minutes/18 minutes and giving up 166 yards rushing to the Commodores.
Arkansas: After that overtime loss to Oklahoma State this team has a very pronounced. “You can’t kill us, we are already dead” vibe.
Auburn: At no point on Saturday did Auburn really make Georgia uncomfortable, which is not something you can say about everyone who’s spent time in a room with Hugh Freeze.
Florida: The fact that Florida fans saw an 11 point win over UCF as a sign of improvement rather than an embarrassment tells you all you need to know to understand why I am a huge fan of Billy Napier at Florida.
Georgia: On the one hand if I wanted a rich guy to tell me what I’m supposed to be excited about I’d just go on Twitter, but on the other….maybe I really should be more excited about beating Auburn????
Kentucky: “Kentucky had a bye after knocking off a top five Ole Miss squad, and now must face a surging Vanderbilt fresh off its win against Alabama” is by far the weirdest single sentence in the history of this sporadic series.
Mississippi State: There will come a time when Jeff Lebby has this Mississippi State team heading in the right direction but that time ain’t now.
LSU: The Tigers, undefeated in the SEC, face Ole Miss this week in a matchup of teams where someone is absolutely getting exposed.
Missouri: Speaking of getting exposed, there’s the Missouri we know and love!
Oklahoma: The Sooners have won five out of six against Texas in Red River, which makes no actual sense and thus perfectly encapsulates why they both belong in the SEC.
Ole Miss: If Lane Kiffin can’t beat LSU in Baton Rouge with this roster I don’t know when he will, and neither will Rebel boosters.
South Carolina: The good news for Shane Beamer is that no one was watching the Gamecocks get handled 27-3 at home by Ole Miss because, well, Texas A&M: Mike Elko is going to turn Texas A&M into a top 15 program in year one just by getting them to stop punching themselves repeatedly in the face, and I can respect that.
Tennessee: Nico said to himself, “Iamaleave Fayetteville with an L.”
Texas: We’re probably going to have to listen to them complain about having to carry yet another conference on their backs for at least 12 more days, and that’s the only downside of Alabama losing.
Vanderbilt: I hope Clark Lea called all the recruits while riding the goal posts down Broadway in Nashville, and I hope they didn’t let it go to voicemail this time.
Until later…
Go ‘Dawgs!!!
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